


Miner's Thrill

by clownprincess



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman (Movies - Nolan), Dark Knight (2008)
Genre: Chaos, Dubious Consent, F/M, Funny, Lust, Sexy Times, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 18:29:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4232250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clownprincess/pseuds/clownprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ann works a high-end department store. She is bored and wishes for excitement. The Joker robs the store one night, and her whole life changes...Sexy time ensues. Definitely a lemon, pwp. It has some rape-y scenes, but consent is dubious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miner's Thrill

**Author's Note:**

> NOT FINISHED... I want to see if anybody even likes it. It's a very rough draft, some some pieces are missing. I have a problem with tense, too. I switch them up a lot. I have a B.A. in writing, but some things you just can't shake! So... basically, does it have potential?

Miner's Thrill  
I  
My breathing was quickened with fear. I was hiding among the jewelry bays and spinners listening for him. My heart was pounding so loudly in my head that I almost worried that someone might hear it. I was closing the jewelry department at Miner Dept. store, a successful, posh dept store in the area, known for its high fashions and quality jewelry. The store was closed. We were all shutting down and about to go home when The Joker and his gang broke in- I saw them come in and hid behind the jewelry counter.  
Then I moved to each bay and spinner to try to see an opportunity to escape. I heard footsteps and saw a thug walking down the aisle with an automatic. I changed positions and hid behind another spinner.  
"None here boss," the thug said into his walkie-talkie.  
"Ok, load up with the rest," a voice cracked back.  
I waited until the man was out of sight. I moved to the other side of the dept- I saw no one. I waited for a few seconds and moved to hide in the stockroom or somewhere less open. As I was about to dash out in the aisle, I heard footsteps. I jerked back and peered from behind a spinner. It was The Joker! He had on his purple and green suit with green hair to match. A red smile was slashed across his face.  
It was surreal to see him in real life. I thought he was kinda cute. At this thought, I giggled. He stopped and looked in my direction. I moved to another bay, I was sure he didn't see me. He walked towards my direction. I kept still, and then lost sight of him. I thought it was safe to move and started walking towards the stockroom. I heard The Joker's laughter coming from that direction, so I turned around quickly and slammed... right into The Joker's chest! He laughed shortly and grabbed my shoulders. He had thrown his voice.  
Tricksy fuck.  
"Well, well, well, what've we got here?" He said amusedly, "One of the worker bees didn't get away!"  
I just looked up at him, scared and thrilled. I knew what he did to people. Kill them for no reason. Torture, maim. I was shaking with panic.  
He locked eyes with me; I thought it best not to break his stare. Anything sets this guy off. His grin slowly melted and he studied me, looking contemplative. He held my face with one hand- like he was examining me.  
"But you're no worker, are you?" He said relatively calmly. "You are something en-tire-ly different. You are..." His hand slid down my face and his thumb went over my lips. "More than beautiful."  
He blinked suddenly, as if out of a trance. He then took out his 9mm and held it up in the air, never breaking eyes.  
"What would you like..."  
He looked at my name tag.  
"Comedia?"  
He ripped the name tag lanyard from my neck and threw it across the floor. I looked at him, wondering what he meant.  
He broke a case with the butt of his gun. I screamed and jumped. He yanked me back towards him, then pulled me in close with his arm tightly around me.  
He led me to the front diamond cases and said, "What would you like? My gift to the beauty in the hive." He laughed.  
I looked at the ring I've always loved. All $7,500 of it.  
I pointed to it and said, "I've always wanted that one."  
"And I've always wanted a more than beautiful cup-cake!" He laughed as he smashed the glass and handed me the ring.  
"My dear..." He said, offering me his arm. He led me out front to a waiting Lexus and pushed me inside, following in after me. His thugs drove the car away and I couldn't help but smile.  
II  
Don't get me wrong, I could've pissed myself with fear. But, I had been asking for more adventure in my life lately; a break from the monotony. I was willing to accept this as an answer to my wish. If I died, that wouldn't really matter much anyway. I've always preferred an altered state of consciousness; death is the ultimate altered state, I'd have to say. I love sleep and dreams better than reality...well, before all this excitement decided to fall from the sky and bash me in the head.  
My stomach felt like it had butterflies flapping around with hooks on their wings. I felt faint and the tips of my fingers were tingling. I wouldn't pass out, but it sure felt like it. Must be all the blood rushing to my head. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. When I opened my eyes, The Joker was looking down on me, amused. I say he was looking down because I am 5'2" and he is nearly 6 feet tall I'd guess. 5'10" at least. His dark eyes sparkled and I couldn't tell what color they were under the shadow of his brow bone.  
"Are ya nervous?" He said.  
I suddenly felt very stupid for a reason I can't explain.  
"Here, I'll calm ya down!" He said and smashed my head into chest.  
Yeah, that'll calm me down, I thought in the back of my mind. My stomach twisted with delight and attraction. But then a new sensation took over: fatigue. He had sprayed me with his lapel flower with some sort of gas.  
"There..." He said, making the word very long, "Lights out!"  
His laughter echoed in my head as I fell unconscious against my will. My last thought was 'this can't be good'. 

I came back to reality in a warehouse full of carnival props and equipment and other clownish things. It was his hideout, I assumed. I was in a separate room and on a very large bed with a silky purple comforter. There were pictures of The Joker everywhere along with newspaper clippings about him, mostly front page news.  
You've got to be freakin kidding me. I thought, realizing the gravity of my situation. I didn't think The Joker took hostages. Shit. I felt scared again, yet the gas had calmed my system. It probably was a sedative with a quick half-life. I had the familiar feelings from taking sedatives before. I felt very warm and ... pleasurable; like being drunk except with only minimal clouding of my mind. I knew what was going on.  
I wasn't tied to anything or chained. I looked around the good-sized room at all the props, plans, chemicals and decorations. I was quite taken with one mirror he had on the wall. I recognized it as one that had been stolen last year at an art exhibit; it was a piece by the artist flavor of the month, Arthur Nyx. The mirror was worth about a million dollars and was made with rubies and black diamonds around the frame. The rubies and black stones were formed into diamond shapes, making a red and black harlequin pattern. I got up and looked closer at the mirror, admiring how large the stones were.  
Suddenly I felt arms sliding around my waist and felt a head rest on my shoulder.  
"Like my mirror?" He said.  
I didn't say anything. I just froze, his breath hot on my shoulder. He loudly sniffed my hair as he raised his head back up.  
"Ah..." he sighed loudly, gliding his nose along my neck to my hair.  
I won't lie to you, it freaked me out. Just a little. But remember, I think this weirdo is cute. I'm fucked in the head, what can I say? I've always attracted psychos, but this time at least it's a cute psycho: which is rare.  
He moved from behind me and walked towards the bed. I just looked around nervously, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to set him off.  
He looked at me and said, "Well, come on."  
He motioned for me to come closer. I walked towards him, wanting to run and get the fuck out of there yet wanting to stay just in case he didn't want to murder me for fun. Then, I remembered the 9mm in his pants and just went over to him. He grabbed my hand with the ring on it.  
"That ring isn't free, ya know," he said slyly, smirking.  
Fine, take it back! I thought.  
He jerked my hand, very roughly I might add, and yanked me closer to him. And I mean close. Pressed against his body, I can feel his heartbeat close. He put his other hand on the small of my back and pressed it there to keep me from moving. I shyly looked up at him, hoping he wouldn't bite my face off or anything. He looked down at me with the same calm, contemplative look he had at the store. He released my wrist and placed his hand on the side of my head and held my face. I jumped when he did this. He frowned at this and then went back to the contemplative look. He moved his face slowly towards mine, then hesitated. I tried to move my face away from his: my mind full of Hannibal Lector images. He gripped my face harder and pulled me in meet his face. I thought he was going to hurt me, but then I felt he was kissing me...very sweetly. Then it turned fiery and hungry, hurting my lips. I felt his scars against my cheeks. His tongue was wild and frantic in my mouth, like he was eating my face or something. It wasn't like a high school kid's lousy slobbery kiss; it was crazy, hormone-driven sex maniac frantic. No one had ever kissed me like that before.  
"Mm," He said throatily and licked his lips.  
He had that look in his eyes that I could recognize on any guy: fucking lust. I know The Joker is crazy and there isn't any stopping him. Oh great. Add rape to the list... I thought. Another voice answered from the back of my head, Can't rape the willing. Then I decided to just see where this was going and let things happen as they came. I mean, what else could I do? And sue me if I wanted some of this hot psycho's ass.  
"I think I like you, Comedia," He said. He said my name in a slightly deeper tone. "You don't talk much, do ya?" He said as he threw off his purple jacket. "You're probably too nervous to say anything, am I right?" He said, amused. He held my chin with one hand. "Well don't you worry my little turtle dove," He threw his 9mm across the room, and it slid under a dresser. "I won't hurt you." He said this sentence in a deep tone as well.  
He backed me up on the bed so much that I fell on it. He laughed shortly at this and jumped next to me on the bed. The jump caused me to move so I was practically on top of him, which was not my fault.  
He smiled and said, "My, my, I think someone has a crush on me!" He laughed as I rolled off and sat up. He sat up as well and put an arm around me, pulling me back down again. He propped himself up on his elbow and smiled at me. I moved so I was facing him more and propped myself up on my arm.  
"Hi," He said and giggled.  
"Hi," I said, nervously.  
"She speaks!" He said. "Now how's it that a thing like you ended up working at...Miner?" He said "Miner" as if disgusted.  
"I don't know, I needed a job and they gave me one." I said, not really knowing what he expected me to say.  
"You hate your job, don't you?" He said in a lowered voice.  
"YES. Very much. A retarded monkey would be over qualified for the job."  
He laughed loudly at this and pounded his fist on the bed.  
"She has a sense of humor! I like that," he said in a sexy voice.  
I smiled at him and noticed that his eyes were hazel with a good amount of green in them.  
"Pretty eyes," I said.  
He raised his eyebrows and looked around. "Me?" He said, motioning to himself.  
"Yeah. Matches your hair," I touched a piece of his green hair that was against his cheek.  
He smiled wickedly and grabbed my wrist on the hand that had touched his hair. He slammed my wrist on the bed as he lunged on top of me. He held both my wrists down and grinned down at me. I was surprised by my reaction: my stomach twisted in approval. I felt a familiar tingle and my heart started beating quicker. (This is everyone's favorite feeling in the world. Guess what it is.) I unconsciously bit the corner of my lip and silently begged for another one of those breathtaking kisses.  
As if he read my mind, he lowered his face to mine. He bit my bottom lip almost too hard and followed with a savage kiss. He released my wrists and ran a hand though my hair. I put a hand on the back of his neck and eagerly kissed him back. He seemed surprised at this and then made a sound of approval, kissing me harder and with more intensity than ever. He bit my lip every so often, and then bit down on my neck, hard. I gasped and pulled him closer to me. I put a leg around his waist and raised my body to press against his. I felt he was as eager as I was. The bulge in his pants was hot and rock hard. I got a rush at this discovery and it only left me begging for him even more. He reached down and pulled my leg closer against him. He pressed the hard bulge against me very hardly and zealously. He then roughly pushed me off of him and sat up, straddling me. He undid his pants and I saw what I had felt. It was gloriously long and perfect. (And the carpet matched the drapes if you catch my drift.) He roughly yanked my pants down and threw them across the room.  
I wasn't even thinking anymore. I was just allowing myself to be in this moment without any logic or thoughts of consequences. I hadn't had a good lay in about two years, and that "good lay" was only mildly satisfying. All I wanted was to fuck this freaks brains out. But seeing the position, it seems he would be fucking me, if we must be technical.  
He saw my green and purple panties.  
"You were expectin' me, huh?" He said with a short laugh.  
"Not so much expecting as always waiting, wanting you." I said breathily. It was true. I had fancied the man since I first saw him on the news. I naturally kept this to myself since people don't find it very acceptable to lust after a sociopathic killer clown.  
"Well, then tonight's yer lucky night!" He ripped off my underwear in one fluid motion. I didn't care to see where they went or even if they were still in one piece. I wanted him so much at this point that it hurt.  
"Certainly ready for me!" he said seeing my body's physical response. I knew I was dripping wet, and everything he said or did just made it more and more. He plunged in me. I gasped. His green pubic hair was moving so fast, slamming against me.  
"Oh, I've wanted this forever," I moaned.  
It was nothing like the sex I've had before. I've only had two other partners and they were so-so and awful. This wasn't sex, this was fucking magic! I couldn't get enough of him. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled myself as close to him as I could get. He pressed a hand against the wall near our heads and used it as a support as he slammed even deeper into me. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, and I was making all kinds of noises. But I certainly wasn't alone. He grunted and moaned with each thrust, sounding kind of like fighting sounds, except for the occasional moan of pleasure.  
He suddenly sat up and got a knife out his pocket. He put the blade against my throat and smirked. Surprised, I looked at him and didn't move. He laughed at the look on my face. I'm sure I looked nervous. He went very close to my face and held my chin with his free hand.  
I whimpered a little, getting nervous he would just slit my throat open right here. He looked like he was enjoying this very much.  
"Gimme a kiss like you mean it," He said slyly.  
I blinked and went close to his face to kiss him.  
He pulled his face back a little and said, "Like you mean it," and tapped the knife on my neck. My heart beat quickly and I put a hand on the back of his neck and pressed my lips onto his. I began softly and sweetly.  
"Mm, mm, mm..." He said in his throat, indicating he wasn't pleased and the knife bit into my neck a little.  
I put my other hand in his hair and grabbed a handful of his green locks and pulled him towards me. I kissed him with no limitations and moved to his neck. I bit and kissed his neck, biting not only the skin, but into his shoulder muscle. It sounded like he made a growl in his throat and he threw the knife across the room and pushed me down on the bed.  
"Good girl," he growled, with a savage look in his eyes. "Now let me reward you..." He said and thrust in me, pumping rhythmically.  
Where did this guy learn to fuck? I thought, delirious with pleasure.  
He looked into my eyes with that same contemplative look and then rested his head on my shoulder. He gripped one of my wrists and held it down by my side; he held my other hand, holding it above my head.  
He whispered in my ear, "Here ya go," and pumped faster, in tune with my heart beat, it seemed.  
"Oh god!" I cried, feeling the rare sensation coming upon me. My muscles twitched and my mind shot random images in my head: the same random images I see every time I orgasm. I felt myself clenching tighter to him.  
"There's no god here!" he said and plunged in extra hard. "Ah!" I cried out and orgasmed. From the look on his face, I could tell that he followed quickly afterwards.  
"Ugh!" He sighed with satisfaction and rolled next to me. I was trembling from the mind blowing experience. I could still feel my vaginal muscles twitching and rippling from the most intense orgasm of my entire fucking life. That wasn't an orgasm; that was Super Orgasm from the planet Ecstasy!  
I was breathing very heavily. I wiped my forehead with my hand and sighed with the most massive sense of satisfaction. I could feel my lips throbbing with the bites and violent kisses. It was the most beautiful pain. Oh and thank god for the monthly birth control injection I get just to regulate my period. That would certainly come in handy today. But remember kids, practice safe sex. Be prepared: you never know when some hot ass clown is gonna come and rock your fucking world.  
The Joker zipped his pants back up. He got up and threw my pants at me.  
"I'm gonna go get somethin'. How about you stay here and recover from the best fuck in your life?" He winked at me and walked out the door, closing it behind him.  
I pulled on my pants and felt my heart beat slowly returning to normal. I felt so calm and warm; like I was floating on a cloud. I finger combed my hair and smoothed it. I straightened my shirt and redid my bra strap. Then I felt kind of awkward. I had acted like the hormone-driven sex maniac that I thought about towards The Joker earlier. I know it's society's sexist views about women's sexuality that was making me uncomfortable: it is classical conditioning at its worst. I pushed this aside and brought to the front and center of my mind the amazing experience I just had. I wanted a little excitement, and damn did fate deliver.  
The Joker walked back into the room with a bottle of wine and two glasses. I smiled at him as he lied next to me on the bed.  
"The best bottle of wine you will ever taste," He said and poured me a glass. It was a deep red liquid that smelled wonderful. He poured himself a glass and put the bottle on the table next to the bed. We both took a sip at the same time.  
"Mm," I said, surprised at how wonderful it tasted. It was a sweet, dark red wine with hints of caramel and vanilla in the background. It didn't have a nasty bite to it and the aftertaste was pleasant. I finished the rest of the glass; The Joker had done the same.  
"The best thing about this wine is that it doesn't taste as strong as it is," He said refilling our glasses.  
I knew what he meant. I could feel the wine working in my system already. I felt a rush of blood to my downstairs, which I always get whenever I imbibe any amount of alcohol. I finished my glass and The Joker put down his full one. He took the empty glass from me and tossed it over his shoulder across the room. I didn't even jump with the sound of smashing glass. I felt very groggy and very drunk all of a sudden.  
"And the reason for its strength isn't the alcohol, but one of my favorite...well, I call them relaxers. I find it easier to people to let go of all their silly rules and plans when they're under its influence." He snickered wickedly and grabbed my face.  
"Just look at you, completely relaxed and ready to let go of society's boundaries!" He laughed and kissed me.  
I felt like I had felt when I had taken psychedelic drugs for recreation. I felt like everything was fine and I was happy and just didn't care much about anything. I didn't feel numb or like I had lost control over my body, though.  
"Did you like what I just did to you?" He said with a smile, already knowing my answer.  
"Oh yes," I said very sincerely, "It was the best I've ever had...Wonderful. I couldn't think." I said, each word giving me pleasure to say.  
"And did you come?" He asked, even though it was obvious that I had.  
I closed my eyes and bit the corner of my lip. My stomach twisted in remembrance.  
"Oh yes..." I said with my eyes closed. I ran a hand down my chest. He could have asked me anything and I would have answered him eagerly and without question. Since that sort of question isn't something you really ask, I knew the drug was working.  
He quickly shoved his hand between my legs. I moaned and spread my legs apart.  
"Tell me how much you liked it," He said seductively and deeply, moving very close to my face.  
"Oh god, I'd do anything for you to do it again," I said, sliding a hand though my hair.  
He started to work his hand and I moaned.  
"Come on, more," He said, like he needed a more sufficient answer.  
I was trembling and felt like I couldn't even think or speak. He stopped moving his hand. I moaned in protest and pulled his hand against me.  
"Ah, ah, ah..." He said, teasing, "Keep going." He said seriously.  
"You fuck like a god; I've never felt so good in my entire life. I died and went to heaven, or hell, whichever one has that sort of euphoric pleasure."  
He laughed and started moving his hand again and then undid my pants. He did what I was silently begging him to and slipped his hand under my underwear.  
"Ah!" I cried out in pleasure, "Oh yeah..." I felt like I was fucking dying, in a good way. My head was spinning and my heart was beating like crazy.  
I couldn't even focus on what to say next; I was in such a primal state of sheer pleasure-seeking.  
"Relax..." He whispered and laughed, knowing full well I was as relaxed as I could ever be.  
It was like he was amused at what he could do to me, and that I would love it, whatever it was. He plunged his fingers in me and rubbed the outside with his thumb. I instantly starting trembling, and couldn't control it. It was like he knew whatever I needed. I stroked his face, and he kissed my hand hungrily. I felt his scars underneath my fingertips, smooth and raised.  
I saw the flash of images in my mind, this time more vivid and intense like I was having a dream. My muscles contracted and rippled more powerfully than before and I cried out in ecstasy. I could hear him laughing as I passed out.  
III  
I could feel last night all over my body. My muscles were aching dully. Especially my arms. There were new bruises and scratches on my pale flesh- giving it some color. I walked with a slight limp. My left hip ached from last nights...violence. I felt like I had been drugged: my stomach was queasy and I felt hot, dizzy and fuzzy. I knew this feeling- it was like getting over a drug. A cognitive impairment drug. Psychedelic or a sedative. It was something mind-altering. I remembered what had happened after I passed out in flashes. I remember feeling tired. Very tired. I felt refreshingly clean, though. The shower this morning was a fantastic, like it washed away- or blanketed- my racing emotions and thoughts. I ran a hand though my soft, clean, fragrant blonde hair and remembered his hands doing the same thing. My stomach tingled with remembrance and my heart beat quickly- as if it was awakened by surprise. I remember being dropped off at my apartment- at least I think I do. I wondered when and if I would ever see him again.  
It would probably be best if I didn't. I thought.  
But it would be nice if I did... I responded to the sterner thought.  
(My id and ego fight a lot.) I looked in the mirror and touched my pink lips. They were pinker than usual and slightly swollen with passion. I bit the corner of my lip as I remembered him doing the same. There was a nick on my throat from his knife. It was a stark red on the white background of my neck. It was about an inch long and not easily hidden by my hair.  
I smiled to myself- thinking of the absurdity and sheer recklessness of last night. I sighed out loud as I fell back on my bed.  
I suddenly felt very ashamed. I didn't know this man at all and I had fucked him. Without a rubber, for chrissakes! I blushed deeply and groaned as I put a hand over my eyes. I tried to make an excuse for myself by reasoning that he was like a celebrity crush to me, and I did what any fan-girl would do. I felt disgusted using the term 'fan-girl' for myself. I was more dimensional with my affections. Wasn't I?  
You're allowed one fuck up like this, I thought to myself, just get over it, and never let it happen again.  
I went to sleep with dread, knowing I had to go to work tomorrow and answer everyone's questions about my whereabouts during the break-in. I don't think anyone saw me leaving with The Joker, since they had all hid in the manager's locked office. I didn't see or hear anyone when I was hiding from The Joker and his gang. It was just me. I decided to not wear the stolen ring to work, for obvious reasons, and to never tell anyone about my night with The Joker.  
IV  
I woke up around noon and took a shower and got ready to go into work at two. I was closing the jewelry department again tonight and smiled to myself as I wondered if tonight would be as exciting as the other night.  
The evening at work went pretty uneventfully. I told everyone that I had ran outside the building when I saw The Joker come in the other door, and hid in the bushes until they left. Then I just went home, too terrified to stop or call the police. Everyone believed me and told me their stories about the other night. This balding, 30 year old co-worker of mine told me about his "heroics" of the night, saying that he had punched The Joker in the face before locking himself in the room with the others. I just smiled at this, knowing it was a lie.  
That night, the boss decided to let us go when the store closed at 11 because we had all cleaned up the store during the slow day. I walked out to my car, which was in the far corner of the parking lot under a light that wasn't working. Great. I thought. I got out my knife just in case. I was sure no boogey men were hiding under my car to slash my Achilles tendon or psychos waiting in the back seat to chop me up with an axe. I got out my keys and went to unlock my door when I heard footsteps in the alley in-between Miner and another store. I turned around and looked, and saw someone walking towards me. I turned around the fumbled with the keys, shaking with fear. I dropped the keys to the ground and I went to pick them up. As I picked them up, I noticed that someone was right behind me. I turned around with my knife in my right hand, raising it to shoulder level, getting ready to strike.  
"Oh please," He said, pushing my hand away and causing me to drop the knife.  
I dropped my keys when I noticed it was The Joker. I was surprised to see him again. I guess he read the shock in my face.  
"Didn't expect to see me again? Hm?" He pushed a piece of hair out my face. "I went to the trouble of making this meeting more...private," he said, motioning to the broken light. He looked at my car and shook his head. "A girl like you deserves to ride in style, and I've got that in spades!"  
He laughed and grabbed my arm and pulled me into the alley. At the end of the alley was the area behind the shops where the trucks would come and unload. There was an idling Lamborghini.  
"My new toy. I can't take it out much because it attracts too much attention. But I thought I'd bring it out tonight to come and get my cup-cake," He said 'cup-cake' in a babyish voice and held my chin.  
He laughed and opened the door for me. I got in the luxurious car, awe-stuck. It had a purple leather interior with all the latest gadgets and superfluous technology. This was a very expensive car. The Joker got in and said, "Let's go!" laughing as he gunned the accelerator to the floor, racing to the highway.  
We drove about 15 minutes to the business district. He turned down a dark road and drove towards a wall of a building. I thought he was going to smash into the wall.  
"What are you doing? Don't hit the wall!" I cried, and grabbed his arm.  
He laughed hysterically and at the last second before impact- the wall split, allowing the car to pass into a garage. The wall closed with a boom behind the car. He was still laughing at me.  
"Don't hit the wall!" He laughed, making fun of me. "Oh," He said with a sigh, pretending to wipe away tears from all the laugher, "You're fun."  
He got out of the car and slammed the door. He skipped to my side of the car and opened my door with a bow, "My dear..." he said, helping me out of the car.  
My stomach twisted just being around The Joker. I was still nervous around him, but not as nervous as I had been the other night. I didn't know where he thought this was going, if he thought about it at all.  
We walked into the warehouse and he offered me a drink.  
"No thanks," I said with a laugh, remembering what happened last time I drank something he had given me.  
He shrugged and motioned for me to follow him into his room.  
Oh great. I thought sarcastically.  
He locked the door behind us and threw off his purple jacket. He started undoing his tie and walked towards me, against the bed, with that look in his eyes. I felt like a trapped rabbit. He walked up to me and entwined his fingers in mine. He held our hands up to shoulder-level and looked at me with that contemplative look. Then he released my hands and pushed me on the bed.  
"Time for some more fun with my favorite play thing!" He laughed and pawed at my chest.  
I made a sound of disapproval and pushed on his chest. He didn't move, because he is way stronger than me. He looked down on me, puzzled.  
"Listen, I don't even know you," I awkwardly said, pinned down to the bed.  
"Really? I thought we got to know each other very well a few nights ago...." He said slyly.  
"I don't usually....do this. I don't have sex with random men. I've only ever been with two other guys, and they were after months of being together." I explained.  
"Of course not. You're not the kind of person who would give away her jewels for free to anyone...But I am not just anyone, Comedia. I'm certain you feel something at some level, albeit primal, that makes me different to you." He said in a surprisingly calm voice. It sounded almost like something a psychiatrist would say. "I know you're not a slut." He whispered with a smile, coming closer to my face.  
I didn't really want to say it, but I knew I had to. "So...what is this that we're doing?" I said awkwardly.  
"Well," He said, inhaling sharply, "We were going to fuck but you keep talking."  
"No, I mean...."  
"I know whatcha mean." He said, slightly aggravated. "I don't know. I don't like to plan things out, exactly. I figured we could have some fun for a while, and just let things happen." He said with a bored sigh.  
"So you're not doing this with any other girls?" I asked, afraid of his answer.  
He laughed and pinched my cheeks, "Is my cupcake jealous?" He said in a babyish voice. "No, no, it's just my more than beautiful little Miner." He laughed.  
I was relieved and felt better. I think I was beginning to like him. This frightened and thrilled me.  
"I feel like I need to know more about you. What's your real name? Where did you come from? Who are--" He cut me off, waving his hand in dismissal. "All that," he said, "doesn't matter. I am who I am now. I do what I do because I like to do. I come from the freedom that the government, judges and society don't want you to have. My past, before I became this," he said with a dismissive laugh, "isn't important. It's not relevant. I couldn't even tell you because it doesn't matter to me."  
I saw the logic in what he said. Sometimes, the best way to cope with something is just become something new; someone who doesn't take beatings and abuse. I knew that I had wanted to do that same thing after my first love brutally left me. I respected his strength to escape a harsh reality and to create a new, better one for himself.  
"I think I understand," I said, stroking his face.  
"I knew ya would." He said with a smile and kissed me. "Now," he growled, "Back to business," and reached down to undo my pants.  
I smirked and slid my hands down his thighs. I stealthily reached into his pocket and slid out one of his knives. He didn't notice. He was too busy trying to remove my pants and underwear. He gave up on the buttons and zipper and just yanked both down and threw them across the room.  
"Now," he said, leaning forward on top of me, "for the shirt. I didn't get the pleasure of meeting your twins last time." He giggled.  
"Not so fast, clown," I said and held the knife up to his throat. He smirked and said, "Ohh...you're clever." He gripped my wrist roughly, "Or very stupid." He didn't seem angry, but seemed amused. I tried with my might to keep the blade close to his throat. I think he was letting me succeed. "So what are you going to do?" He said deeply and giggled.  
"I don't know. Probably the same thing you wanna do to me: just stab and stab until I finish." I laughed and tapped the knife next to his neck.  
"Well here, let me go first!" He exclaimed and thrust my hand down; I lost his knife and heard it fall onto the tile floor. He flipped me on my stomach. He savagely pulled my shirt off and unhooked my bra quickly and tossed it aside as well.  
He thrust inside me with a growl. He released his grip on my wrists and sat up, pumping slowly. I tightened my thighs and wriggled and managed to make him fall off of me. As he was down, I wrestled my way on top of him.  
"Oh, now we're talkin!" He said laughing, grasping my hips.  
"If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it my way." I said, and touched my fingertip to his nose.  
"Ohhh, yes ma'am!" He laughed.  
"Don't," I said sternly, putting a finger over his mouth.  
He growled in his throat and looked like a hungry wolf, ready for the kill. But it would be me who was doing the killing!  
I positioned myself on him and slid down slowly, torturing him. He exclaimed, "Ohh..." and tightened his grip on my hips, his nails biting my flesh.  
I started out very slowly and then went quickly. If he was enjoying it too much, I would pull myself off of him and tease him, rubbing myself just barely on the tip of his penis. I was driving him crazier than Batman ever could.  
"Eughhh..." He growled and gripped my hips almost unbearably tight and thrust himself upwards, hoping to enter me. I moved just out of the way and laughed in his face.  
"Don't you see?" I said breathily, "I'm in control. I'll always be in control. I'm a woman," I laughed hardly and slammed back down him, he cried out in ecstasy. "Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say," I said with a laugh, seeing his face show his coming orgasm.  
Afterwards, I got off of him and lied down with my back to him. He was still on his back, panting and groaning. I smiled devilishly and wondered if he had any idea what he was getting himself into. 

 

V  
I had figured for the past couple of months that I was going crazy. I had a history of mental problems. I had very stubborn severe depressive disorder, severe isolation, psychosis, and anxiety. Or at least that's what the Doctors in the Nut Hut had told me. I had a psychiatrist that I didn't like very much, but overall, I felt I had a handle on my mental issues. It wasn't until I started confessing my thoughts and emotions to others did I realize that I was losing my grip. I have this thought in my head that I am someone special that needs to be treated like a goddess. Paradoxically, I also hated myself. I thought that the only thing I had going for me was my way above average good looks. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, large breasts and a petite frame. I am what you would call perfect. Also, I'm a twin, so double your fun.  
I had started isolating myself again and using drugs and drinking for escape from my sad, dark thoughts. My self-destructive behaviors bothered me, but I always argued with myself and the one arguing for my vice's always won. I would think I don't care. I just don't care. I like the way it makes me feel. I don't care; I'm going to do it. And I would take the pills that would send me an 8 hour vacation to Numb Land. It was a distraction from the crippling boredom and horrifying consciousness.  
I was completely letting myself free and becoming more and more as I wanted to be. I would give into my obsessions and just live life openly and explicitly, which is not favorable to society. I was considered strange, I'm sure. That hot freak chick.  
I refer to myself as 'we', and argue and compromise with myself in my head. I also soothe myself, calling myself sweetheart and the like. It is like there are two of me in my head; or a two headed, one bodied me. It's just the way I think.  
I always admired The Joker, or any outlaw, because of their freedom. Their mind was completely free from society's nonsense, and they didn't worry about money or taxes or what's for dinner tonight. They were concerned with much more important and baser things. They just lived each day as it came as one giant party. So primal and so sedate. I envied their carefree lifestyle.  
Perhaps this would be my opportunity to join their little circus and live as I had always wanted to live: without boundaries or remorse.  
I had quit my job at Miner; unable to tolerate the sophomoric and degrading labor. I thought I could put myself to much better use, I just hadn't figured out what that use was yet.  
I must admit, I had changed since my fist encounter with The Joker. He was a catalyst that I needed to set me off on my path of self actualization and freedom. He was my one-way ticket out of society and into the 24/7 hedonistic lifestyle of the free.  
VI  
I hadn't seen The Joker in a week. I knew he must know where I live since he dropped me off at my apartment after our last rendezvous. But since he had always picked me up at Miner's, I didn't know when he would show up again.  
I was cleaning my apartment, getting rid of old things that didn't matter anymore. Like the books my ex boyfriend had given me, my high school yearbooks, and photographs of old friends. My apartment was immaculate. It was free from the congestion of negative emotions that those objects wrought. I was pleased with the new atmosphere of freedom and release.  
I had gotten my hair cut earlier that day to a shorter, more modern look than my usual classic long hair. My hair was in the style of the free, those who weren't chained down by a daily beauty regimen necessary for maintaining an acceptable appearance.  
My doorbell rang with its harsh buzzz sound. I opened the door and a bunch of tropical-looking flowers was pushed in my face.  
"Comedia Columbine?" Asked the delivery man in a bored tone.  
"Yeah that's me, thanks," I said, puzzled, taking the flowers.  
I closed the door and placed the flowers on my newly cleared table. They were huge purple flowers with red, yellow and orange smaller flowers sprinkled around in a background of lush green. I leaned in close to smell them, and recoiled. They smelled really funny, like chemicals. It was kind of like the smell in a nail salon mixed with a sickeningly sweet smell. I coughed, the smell taking my breath away. I saw the card that had come with the flowers. It read, 

Comedia-  
You can run, but you can't hide!  
Love, J.  
Run? Hide? I wasn't running and I certainly wasn't hiding. I wondered what The Joker was thinking, sending me stinky ass flowers with a psycho version of a love note. I put the flowers on the sill of an open window.  
"What? You don't like my flowers?"  
I turned around and saw The Joker walking in my apartment. He closed the door and held his arms out as if waiting for an answer.  
"You left Miner," He said deeply, walking towards me, looking at the floor, "Congratulations." He said, raising his eyes to mine. My stomach twisted when our eyes met and a smile tugged at my mouth. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly but deeply. He put a hand on the back of my head and the other on my lower back. He pushed me in closer with appreciation.  
"Mm," He grunted past my mouth and said when we parted, "Someone's missed me," his scars made his smile look extra wide and the scar tissue made him have awkward dimples in his face. I thought he was so sexy.  
"This is your apartment?" He said, looking around, not impressed.  
"Yeah, at least it's not a warehouse." I said with a laugh.  
"Ha ha ha ha." He said, reaching into a pocket on the inside of his jacket.  
He pulled out a 9mm and pointed it at me. "I don't appreciate it when people make fun of me."  
My stomach dropped and I backed up, "Woah, take it easy. I was just joking," I looked at the door past him and wondered if I should make a run for it.  
"Just joking?" He said, "Well maybe so was I." He pointed the gun up at the ceiling and flipped it in his hand and put it back in his coat.  
I just looked at him, scared shitless.  
"So, how've ya been?" He said, walking around my apartment, looking into my boxes of junk that were destined for the trash. "Cleaning house? Not thinking of running out on me, are you?" He said, shooting a foreboding look at me.  
"No, I'm just cleaning out some junk that I don't want to look at anymore." I said cautiously.  
"Ah." He said, "I should've known my cupcake wouldn't do that to me."  
"Are you ok?" I walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. He peered at me across his shoulder and turned on his heel so he was facing me. He took my hands in his, entwining our fingers.  
"Just stressed," He hissed, "Nothing a few explosions couldn't cure. It's hard being the Crown Prince of Crime." He sighed, releasing my hands and walking towards my balcony. The sun was setting and a cool summer breeze blew softly.  
The Joker rested his arms on the balcony railing, examining the city. I stood next to him with an arm around his back. His muscles felt tense and his eyes looked more tired than usual. I snuggled close to him, resting my chin on his shoulder and cooed softly into his ear, "I can think of a few things that I can do that would put a smile back on that handsome mug of yours."  
He sighed and looked at me, "I bet you could, cupcake."  
I squeaked. I loved it when he called me cupcake. He walked back inside and I followed him, closing the balcony doors behind me. The apartment looked dark in the fading sunlight. The Joker took off his jacket and collapsed on my couch. I skipped over to the couch and perched next to him. He was cradling his head in his hand on the arm of the couch. I pulled on his other arm and pulled him down, his head resting on my lap. I stroked his hair lovingly. He let out a huge sigh and closed his eyes. I smiled down on him.  
I lightly rubbed his temples and could feel his body relaxing. "You know what you need?" I asked softly. "Hmm?" He answered sleepily. "A nice hot bath." 

I led him to my bathroom and turned on the faucets in my large Jacuzzi bathtub. It was getting very dark so I lit some candles. I helped him get undressed, admiring his smooth, white body. He looked like a marble statue of a god. He got in the tub and sighed happily as he settled in the rumbling waters. I was outside of the tub, massaging his shoulders and back. He was so tense. I kneaded his muscles and rubbed his smooth skin. He was groaning in appreciation.  
I stood up and took off my shirt. "Ooh..." He said mischievously. I took off the rest of my clothes and entered in the tub with him. He slid his hand up my thigh. "Ah, ah, ah," I said, pushing his hand away, "You just relax." He laughed shortly with pleasure and laid back.  
I massaged his arms, working each muscle slowly. I could feel the tension in his large arm muscles and wondered what had stressed him out so much. I worked on his leg muscles, rubbing and slowly stroking with care. I moved up to his thigh muscle and could feel his pulse rise and his leg tense. I smiled to myself and worked his sexy, developed muscles until they were relaxed and limber. He groaned and said, "Wow."  
"There," I said, "Now you're all relaxed. Feel better?" 

"Well, there is still one part of me that's very, very tense. Think you can help me, doc?" He said, looking at me with those amazing, spellbinding eyes.  
"Maybe," I said with a smile. I reached between his thighs and squeezed his penis tightly in my fist. He gasped and gripped the edges of the tub, his eyes closed, a smile stretched across his face. I worked my fist up and down, massaging the head of his penis. He groaned and moved his hips upward eagerly. I moved my hand faster and faster and felt him pulsate under my grip. I giggled as he cried out in pleasure. 

I softy towel dried The Joker. He put on his clothes and so I put on mine.  
"You're the greatest, doll," He said, and kissed me on the cheek. He grabbed his jacket off of the couch and slid it on. He headed towards the door. I followed him and kissed him goodbye. He took an extra second, gazing into my eyes. He smirked and said as he walked down the hall, "Thanks for the happy ending, cupcake." 

VII

It had been almost two weeks since I had last seen The Joker. But every now and again, he would remind me that he's still around. I would find joker playing cards here and there, in my apartment, my car, and once in the dressing room of a store I was in at the mall. He must have some kind of way of monitoring me or watching me. When I found the card in the dressing room I was kind of freaked out at first. Then I swooned with the attention and acted like a supermodel goddess for the rest of the day, just in case his eyes were on me.  
Today I was having the most horrible day. My bank froze my funds because of some technical error on their part, so I couldn't pay my rent and got read the riot act by my asshole landlord when I asked if I could give him the money in a few days. I had never been late on a payment before, so I didn't see the big deal. I know I should have paid my rent earlier, but these things slip my mind. (My memory loss might be due to the constant druggings delivered by The Joker. JK)  
It was now the afternoon and I was being mercilessly hit on by an old acquaintance that I had run into at the book store. His name was Jerry and we had known each other in college. He had always liked me. As I exited the store, Jerry followed me. 

"How about a drink? We can catch up." He said with a toothy grin.  
I wanted to roll my eyes. "I'm sorry but I don't have the time right now, I'm supposed to be helping my friend move in fifteen minutes." I lied.  
"That's fine. I can help! I can drive you over there. The more help, the better!" He said way too happily.  
"No thanks, I have my own car." I walked a little faster. I turned a corner and saw a huge fire on the side of the road. The firemen and trucks had just arrived and an officer pushed me back from the fire. I was shocked. Then my stomach fell to the ground. The blaze was a car on fire. My car on fire.  
"Oh god!" I yelled. "What the fuck?" I groaned loudly and stumbled against a brick wall. "This is the day from hell!"  
Jerry said, "Oh no! Is that your car? I can drive you."  
"No, Jerry. That's fine. I'll just take a cab or something."  
"I won't take no for an answer!" He said cheerfully and grabbed at my arm.  
I violently snatched my arm back and said, "I. Said. No. Jerry." Through clenched teeth. My hand went for my knife.  
"Ok, ok," He said backing up.  
One of the firemen came up to talk to me and Jerry left around the corner. Thank god.  
"This is your vehicle, ma'am?" The fireman said.  
"Yeah it was." I groaned sadly.  
"It seems to be a work of arson."  
"Arson? Who would burn my car?"  
"Do you have any enemies, ma'am?"  
"No. I can't think of anyone."  
"Well, according to your insurance company, you only had liability coverage and they won't compensate for your vehicle. You can file a complaint with the police for arson, but I doubt we'll be able to find who did this to you." The fireman said after looking at papers the police had given him.  
"Yay. You know what? I'll just cut my losses and leave you fine gentlemen to deal with this hunk of junk."  
"What?" The fireman said, looking confused, "Ma'am, you should talk to the police, don't you--"  
"No." I cut him off, "I've had enough of today. I'm going home." I walked a few blocks down and hailed a taxi. 

I walked into my apartment, slouched over and completely defeated. I went to my liquor cabinet and drank a few shots of vodka. I got into the shower and spent an hour in there just letting the water wash away the day.  
I got out of the shower and dressed in my comfy silky pajamas and collapsed on my bed and turned on the TV. A cheap 80s horror flick was on, and I tried to relax, enjoying one of my favorite kind of movies.  
It was getting dark, and the sun set behind the skyline of the city. I got up to pull my blinds down so no perverts could look into my apartment now that it was dark outside.  
I went out to my bar area and took another two shots of vodka, starting to feel tipsy. I made myself a drink of my very own creation called "Toxic Waste". It's made with Mountain Dew and Blue Raspberry UV vodka. It looks bright green and tastes like cotton candy. I went back to my room, planning on getting drunk and forgetting my shitty day.  
About ten minutes later, I heard a sound in my apartment. It sounded like something had fallen. I looked up and out of the room and didn't see anything. I was half drunk and didn't pay it much attention. Then a few minutes later, I hear a definite, loud thump. I put my toxic waste down and picked up my knife. I stumbled out of my room and turned on the light to the main living room area. This was a basic apartment so it was just the living room, which connected to an open kitchen and eating area along with my bedroom and a bathroom. Not much room to hide. I went up to my front door to check if it was locked. It was. I figured maybe the neighbors upstairs dropped something or whatever and headed back towards my room.  
I gasped when I saw The Joker lounging on my bed, drinking my Toxic Waste.  
"You know, cupcake, you make a nice drink." He gulped down the rest of the drink and threw the glass aside.  
I put my knife on my dresser and said, "You are one sneaky fuck."  
I went over to the bed and crawled in next to him, sitting up in bed, him giggling as he watched the TV girl get killed by a masked murderer.  
Ignoring my comment, he said, "So, how are you?" The question sounded odd, just the way he said it. It was as if he already knew and was being sarcastic.  
"I am terrible. I've had the worst day ever. My bank froze my money, I was chewed out by my landlord because I couldn't give him the rent, I was stalked and harassed by some horny loser from my past, and then my car is set on fire! So I'm fucking fabulous, what about you J?" I said, exacerbated.  
He put an arm around me and pulled me close to him. I just went limp and lay against his chest. I sighed deeply and put my arms around him.  
"Aw, shh, shh, shh. There, there, my little turtle dove." He said stroking my hair. "I have something that will cheer you up."  
"What's that?" I said, looking up at him excitedly. He looked down on me and smiled and said, "C'mon, follow me."  
He got up and we left my apartment and went downstairs. In the parking lot of the building, next to his Lamborghini, was a new Ferrari Spyder. It was forest green and fucking gorgeous. I ran up to the car excitedly and said, "You got a Ferrari?"  
"No," he said, throwing keys at me, "You got a Ferrari."  
I squealed and got in the car. It had semi automatic transmission and black leather seats. It was all custom interior with all the special features and real wood accents. I got out of the car and ran up to The Joker and jumped on him, hugging him. He laughed as I leaped into his arms. 

"I love it! I've always wanted one! This is just too much, J!"  
"Oh no, no." He said dismissively. "I couldn't stand seeing my girl driving around in some old, clunky car. My girl deserves to ride in style and luxury. Only the best for my cupcake." He laughed.  
"Did you set my car on fire?" I asked.  
"Yep! It had to go." He laughed.  
"You are absolutely wonderful." I said and kissed him. He put me down and I said, "Now come upstairs with me. I want to thank (fuck) you."  
"Oh, your beautiful smile is thanks enough." He said dramatically. I stopped and looked at him and we both started busting out laughing.  
"Will you two shut up? It's one freaking AM! What are you, nuts?" An angry man screamed from an open window on one of the middle floors of the apartment building next to mine.  
"Oh, our apologies, sir!" The Joker said, "You won't hear a peep from us again! Or anyone else." He got out his semi automatic and shot the guy. I giggled and tugged on his hand and hurried back to my apartment, this explicit show of power thrilled me to the core.  
We got back to my apartment and I led him to my bedroom.  
"Ok, Mr. J, I want to thank you for the wonderful present." I crawled on the bed and beckoned him over to me with my finger and said, "You can have me any way you want." I smiled playfully as he walked towards the bed. He got to the foot of the bed and leaned forward on it with his hands. I giggled with anticipation and backed up away from him on the bed. He leaned up and threw off his jacket, gloves and tie. My heart was beating faster and faster, watching him watch me. His eyes focused on me as he resumed leaning on the footboard. I couldn't stop smiling, waiting for him to strike.  
Suddenly he lunged on me. He grabbed my wrists above my head and slammed them on the wall above my headboard. My head bumped against my headboard. "Ow!" I cried out, and tried to move my arms so I could rub my head. My arms didn't budge and Mr. J pushed them tighter against the wall. He smirked, looking into my eyes. That look in his eyes made me forget the slight pain in my head and I melted, looking at him dreamily. I went to kiss him.  
He released my arms and I got on my knees, leaning forward to kiss him as he backed up slightly. He roughly grabbed the back of my head and pushed my face to his. He kissed me savagely. I leaned back and allowed him to get on top of me. He put a hand up my button-up silky pajama shirt and ripped it off, buttons flying everywhere. He ripped down my pants and underwear and held me very tightly, kissing my neck, my chest and my face. He jerked around my face with his hands so he could better bite my neck, or to kiss me. He was like a wild animal. It thrilled me to pieces! I reached down to undo his pants and tried to push them off of him. He grabbed his pants and pulled them down, tossing them across the room. He was pressing himself on me. I ran a hand though his hair and hugged him tight against me. I pushed myself on him, moving my hips and wrapping a leg around him. He grabbed my leg, and then the other leg and pulled me roughly towards him. So roughly, I was kind of taken back for a second. He held onto my thighs and entered me, his smile huge and triumphant.  
"Oh Mr. J!" I cried.  
He slammed into me hard, "I like you calling me that, cupcake," he said breathily.  
"Mmm!" I said with pleasure, hearing him call me 'cupcake'. It was such a cute term of endearment.  
"Say it again," He said with a huge grin.  
"You're the boss, Mr. J!" I giggled and held onto his sexy, powerful, muscular arms.  
"You're damn right!" He said, laughing loudly.  
I gripped his arms tightly with my hands, my nails digging into his skin. I gasped and gulped, biting my lip, delirious and mad with pleasure.  
"Oh god Mr. J!" I moaned and released my grip on his arms. I threw my arms above my head and breathed heavily with satisfaction. He grabbed my wrists and leaned down on me, pressing my wrists into the mattress. He started pumping extra hard, roughly kissing me at the same time. It was like he hadn't had sex in years and had been thinking of it and wanting it every day.  
"Mr. J!" I tried to say past his kiss, he was hurting me. He stopped kissing me. I struggled underneath of him, squirming to get out from under him. He just pressed harder down on me and was smothering me with his chest. His head was above mine, almost touching the headboard, as he kept slamming into me.  
I cried out and bit him in the chest in panic. I don't like being trapped. It's my claustrophobic thing. I gasped, getting my face out from under him as he sat up a little.  
"J!" I cried out. He laughed at my cry. Then I got angry.  
I managed to move one of my legs from under him and wrapped it around his leg. I tried to relax to make myself more comfortable. My lower back hurt. It was like he was fucking me though my back and into the mattress.  
I pushed myself up with my leg that was around his, so my chin was slightly above his shoulder. I bit his shoulder very hard and started struggling to get free from under him. I moved my leg around his waist and tried to sort of kick him. I couldn't get out from under him, he was too strong. I could feel him panting next to my ear. I bit his neck savagely and tasted a little bit of blood. He suddenly got very tense and moaned, and then his whole body trembled. I could feel his penis pulsating inside of me like crazy. He was having one crazy amazing orgasm. His grip on my wrists loosened and he gasped for air then swallowed. He was panting and sweating.  
"Ohhhhh..." He groaned with intense satisfaction. The place on his neck where I had bit him was dark red and a few tiny drops of blood showed where my canine teeth had been.  
"That was....the best." He said, sounding very relaxed and tired.  
I moved around underneath of him and he slid out of me. He groaned when I did this and then kissed my forehead, rolling off of me to lie next to me.  
"Damn Mr. J." was all I could think of saying. My downstairs throbbed a little but it was ok. I wasn't bleeding or in any pain anymore or anything.  
I sighed and snuggled next to him. He kissed the top of my head and held my hand that was resting on his chest. He pulled a blanket up over us and cuddled with me.  
"Mr. J?" I said right before sleep began to take us.  
"Cupcake?"  
"Thanks for burning my car." 

VIII  
I woke up with Mr. J kissing my cheek. I smiled and yawned.  
"What time is it?" I said, sitting up.  
"Near noon." He said, getting up and dressing.  
"Shit. I had a job interview at 10." I groaned and flopped back on the bed, putting a pillow over my head.  
"Don't worry about it." He said as he pulled on his purple leather gloves.  
"How am I supposed to pay my rent?"  
"You don't have to anymore."

"What, it's free now?" I laughed and got up from my bed to go get some coffee. I walked out of my room and a bunch of guys were in my apartment packing up what little possessions that had survived the Selecktion during my throwing away rampage. I turned around and walked back into my room where Mr. J was putting his knives back in his pockets.  
"There are people taking my things, Mr. J." I said, knowing he was behind it.  
"Well your stuff has to get to our house somehow!"  
"Our house?"  
"I want you," He said walking towards me, eyes cast down, "to live with me." His eyes raised to mine- giving me a chill. He was very serious. My stuff was all in boxes and going, going, gone by moving guys.  
"Ok, Mr. J," I said- kinda surprised, "I like this idea, but why?" I asked cautiously.  
"All alone in a teeny ol' apartment is no place for a girl like you." He said putting an arm around me and leading me towards the door.  
"Besides, I want you all to my oddy knocky." He smiled down at me, kind of sinisterly.  
"Thanks, Mr. J." I said putting a hand on his chest. My heart suddenly swelled with appreciation- he gave me a new Ferrari, a new life, and now a new house- at little or no cost to me! -Save some crazy sex. I sighed and smiled, nuzzling his chest and said, "You are the greatest, Mr. J."  
"I know." He said and kissed the top of my head. "Well c'mon, cupcake, let's go to our new abode!" and he led me downstairs to his waiting Lambo- which he had been favoring lately. 

 

IX

 

like two weeks later....

I was driving my Ferrari at dangerous speeds out in the real country dark roads on the outskirts of town. My windows were down, music blaring, my blonde hair whipping out of the window in the cool summer night air. I was feeling especially spunky today and ready for a bit of the old ultra-violent, as it were. Instead, I contented myself driving around my Ferrari in the middle of night, ignoring stop signs, speed limits and laws of physics. My beautiful car purred gently, even at 100 mph. I could make it roar as I gunned the acceleration, which gave me a warm, vibratey feeling in my stummy. I smiled and laughed, very happy at that moment.  
I started driving back towards home. I stopped at a Wawa to pick up a Mountain Dew, one of my guilty pleasures and happy addictions. I went inside of the deserted store and bought my soda from a tired looking young clerk. I walked back outside and a bunch of kids - in their late teens, early twenties- were all around my car, one had his hand on the hood and was looking into my tinted windows. There were only three of them, so I didn't feel that threatened.  
I got out my brivka and said, "How about you get yer greasy mitts off of my car."  
The boys looked surprised and the one who had his hand on my car walked up to me and said, "That sure is a lot of car for such a little girl. Sure you can handle all that?" He laughed and the other two stupidly joined him.  
"I can handle all sorts of things," I said, pointing my brivka at him.  
"Woah," He said backing up, "Kitty cat has claws!"  
One of the other boys had been really staring at me. He suddenly said, "Oh man, she's The Joker's girl. We better leave, Tony, that guy is nuts."  
Tony was the leader one I suppose, the one talking to me. He smiled and said, "I'm not afraid of that freak. Come on, baby, I can show you how a real man handles a woman." He walked towards me. I was starting to get pissed off.  
I had my knife in a threatening pose and said, "You better listen to your buddy. Mr. J will do such horrible things to you that hell's never even thought of. Not that I need him to handle a bunch of kids for me."  
"C'mon, Tony," the other boys begged him, "Let's go, man." The other two boys walked away in the parking lot.  
Tony lingered for a while, smirking at me and said, "See ya." He walked towards the other boys, grinning.  
I got in my car and didn't really think much on the incident. I had been dealing with horny assholes all of my life; me being so sexy and all.  
Our mansion was pretty secluded and by itself. We didn't want prying eyes and obviously Mr. J had to keep a very low profile. It wasn't in the deep country, like where I had been driving, but was still on the outskirts of city, pretty isolated with only fields for neighbors.  
I got back to the mansion and was excited to see Mr. J because I was also feeling especially naughty today, and I was sure that Mr. J would appreciate this. I got up the long driveway and just parked my car outside that night, being too lazy to put it in the unconnected garage where it usually goes. I got out of my car and was headed towards the door when I saw a car pull in. I assumed it was Mr. J because he has a new car every five minutes and stopped to wait for him to get out. The car came closer and I had a feeling it wasn't Mr. J because the car was a piece of shit. My Mr. J drives in high style and class, not trash. I was wondering who it was, or if Mr. J had had a run in with the police and had to steal a car, so I remained where I was, about five feet from the door. I saw a person get out and couldn't see who it was. As they approached me, I knew it wasn't Mr. J. I saw that it was that Tony kid from Wawa.  
I got a surge of anger in my stomach and hissed, "You have some balls, fucker."  
"I couldn't stand the thought of you spending the night with that clown, I had to come and save you." He said in a real asshole, condescending way.  
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, because now I'm going to cut you so bad that your mama wouldn't recognize you." I reached for my knife in my pocket but it was gone. It must have slid out in the car, which was like twenty feet away, with Tony in between me and it.  
"Uh-oh, she lost her little pocket knife!" He laughed and walked towards me. I had never been much of a fighter so I got really scared and started to panic and backed up towards the house.  
"Mr. J!" I screamed, "Help! Mr. J!"  
Tony grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall of the house. I hoped Mr. J was home or would come home soon, I needed a freaking miracle.  
"You were very rude to me and my friends tonight. I'm going to have to teach you a lesson." He said and started to undo his belt buckle with his free hand. He has me pressed against the house with his arm pressing across my throat. I couldn't kick him because he had me pinned against the wall with his body weight. I could barely breathe and started to see spots in front of my face. I felt I would pass out soon, which panicked me even worse.  
Then I saw a bright light and felt pushed against the wall very hard, then suddenly the pressure was off. I coughed and rubbed my throat. I was on the ground and getting my vision back in blurs. I saw two figures. I rubbed my eyes and focused, it was Mr. J. He was tearing apart that kid with his knife. He then pushed him on the ground and kicked him with his boots that had the retractable blade in the tip. Mr. J was making like battle cries and almost growling. He then leaped on top of the punk and punched him repeatedly with alternating fists. He got up and dragged the now limp kid by his shirt to the driveway. He slammed the guys head against the asphalt, laughing as with each smash. Then he made the guy bite the curb of our driveway, and stomped on his head a few times laughing and going "Rahh!" and other such battle noises. I could see in the full moonlight that Mr. J was covered with blood, and none was his own. He was panting over the dead body and kicked it again. He looked up at me, me still lying on the ground in a daze, my head spinning from the lack of oxygen.  
He walked up to me and crouched on the ground, looking into my eyes. I could smell the blood on him and still see the fight in his eyes. He looked really concerned and put a hand on my face and asked gently, "Are you ok, cupcake? Did he hurt you?"  
I fell in his arms and said, "No, I'm fine. He just had his arm across my throat and I couldn't breathe..." at this, Mr. J growled and pushed me back and said, "Who was that kid? How did he get here? Do you know him?"  
Surprised by the anger in his voice, I stammered when I spoke, "I...I...went driving tonight and stopped on my way home at Wawa for a drink and...h-he was giving me a hard time there and then left. I gu-guess he followed me here."  
Mr. J looked really angry then his face softened and he wiped the blood from his face with his coat sleeve. He helped me up and hugged me. He then looked into my eyes and said, "When I saw him with his hands on you, I just...snapped. I wanted nothing more than to see him suffer, make him suffer. Kill him in a vile mComediar. How dare he touch you." He said the last part though gritted teeth.  
I was overcome with love, admiration, and desire for The Joker at this. I kissed him and he passionately kissed me back, with much rigor and emotion. It was a truly fiery kiss.  
We went inside and up the marble staircase to our room. My body ached for him and my heart raced and swelled with affection for him. I think he loves me, I thought dreamily, I think I love him, too.  
I took off my clothes and went to put on my PJs. I only had my panties on, and walked over to the closet to get my pajamas. As I walked by Mr. J, he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.  
"No wonder that punk wanted you," He said, looking me up and down. His eyes met mine and I saw that lustful shine in them.  
I smiled at this and said, "I'm all yours."  
"Yes you are," he growled hungrily and moved his hands down from my arms to my hips, devouring me with his eyes. "You are only mine. No one else can even look at you," He added with passion, "if they do, I'll make sure they never see again." He said bitterly and then pulled me in for a wild and hungry kiss.  
I moaned as he kissed me and started to unbutton his shirt. I pushed it off of him and admired his white, muscular chest and arms. I pressed myself against him, his body hard and warm; I could feel his heart beating quickly. I ran my hands though his luscious glory and felt that I would die if I didn't have him that moment.  
"Oh Mr. J," I sighed as he kissed and bit my neck and shoulders, "You were so sexy tonight. Killing that bastard," I said breathily and gasped as he put his hand inside of my underwear and plunged his fingers in me, deeply probing in and out. I cried out in ecstasy and didn't notice him gently pushing me on the bed and getting on top of me. I reached for his belt, my hands trembling and my vision blurred. I reached into his pants and grabbed him; he was rock hard, throbbing and very hot.  
"I want this," I moaned.  
He inhaled sharply, sounding pleased, and removed his hand and slowly slid down my panties. I was breathing very heavily and trembling with a mad desire for him. He pushed off his pants and slowly entered me. I was screaming with pleasure as he inched inside of me. I opened my eyes, which were tearing with pleasure, and saw him gazing lovingly at me. My heart started beating even faster. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to me and said, "I love you," and kissed him deeply. At this, he kissed me deeper and sat up; pulling me up with him so I was like sitting in his lap as we made love.  
"Oh J!" I gasped as I had a g-spot amazing orgasm. My nails were digging in his flesh and I was shaking. I could feel him start to pulsate inside of me and moaned, "Oh Mr. J! Oh yeah! You're so good!" to make him even more turned on. He thrust inside me harder and harder, grunting and moaning. Then the big moment came and I looked at him, enjoying his facial expressions. He closed his eyes and mouth was open, moaning. I felt him melt inside of me and at the same time he cried, "I love you, too!" Laughing.  
I kissed his trembling lips and we lay back down on the bed, spent, satisfied and panting.

The next morning, I woke up and snuggled closer to Mr. J and whispered in his ear, "I do love you."  
He opened his eyes and looked at me for a few seconds. "You do?" He asked.  
"Yes. I love you, Mr. J."  
He laughed shortly.  
"Do you love me?" I asked.  
"HA! What are you thinking? Of course I don't!" He laughed hysterically like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.  
"What?" I managed, shocked and hurt.  
"You stupid broad! You must be nuts to think I'd love you." He said laughing.  
"But, but...the car, the house, that guy you beat up last night...?"  
"Gotta placate my woman! How else am I supposed to get ass, force is too much effort." He laughed, grabbing my ass roughly. "You thought...Oh! HA HA HA HA!" He pointed in my face laughing at me.  
"You bastard!" I yelled, smacking and punching him.  
"Get off of me!" He pushed me off the bed.  
I grabbed my knife and lunged for him. He pulled a gun from the nightstand and  
BOOM.  
The Joker yawned and fell back on the bed.

X

"What the fuck, J?!" I screamed from the floor where I had hit the fucking deck when he had gotten his gun out  
"You tried to SHOOT me?!"  
"But I missed," he said dismissively- his head buried in the pillow. "On purpose," he added with a yawn.  
"You're an asshole."  
"Flattery gets you nowhere. Besides, I was joking." He said lazily rolling over.  
"Ugh!" I groaned and stomped towards the door.  
Mr. J sat up and said, "Where are you goin'?"  
I ignored him and kept walking towards the door.  
"Get back here." He demanded.  
I paused for a moment and then continued. I reached the door and put my hand on the knob.  
"Comedia..." He hissed impatiently.  
I looked back at him. He was getting up from the bed and had a knife in his hand.  
He walked towards me. "You're not going anywhere, cupcake," He growled slowly approaching me with his knife poised in my direction. Not a threatening pose, per se, but one of warning.  
I swiftly turned away from him and turned the knob. Just as I was opening the door, The Joker's knife flew past my head and stuck in the door with so much energy the door slammed shut. The knife was extremely close to my face. I turned around to look at Mr. J. He had savage look on his face. I turned around to try to get out of the room and all of a sudden Mr. J slammed against me- pressing me into the door face-first. He had my arms behind my back, like a cop would do. He held my arms still with one hand, hurting me.  
He put his other hand on my neck and snarled into my ear, "I said you're not going anywhere."  
"Jesus, J! Get off of me!" I moaned in pain.  
He banged his body against mine, slamming me into the door. He removed his hand from the back of my neck and pried his knife out of the door. I couldn't help but be impressed by his strength and accuracy. A slight swoon nipped at the corner of my consciousness.  
He flipped the knife closed and tossed it aside. He released my arms and pinned me against the door with his arms on either side of my shoulders. He towered over me, it seemed, and looked down on me with frank amusement as well as impatience.  
He made two 'tisk-tisk' sounds with his tongue and said, "What am I going to do with my little Miner?"  
I squirmed and grabbed his arms, "I'm not a Miner anymore," I whined and struggled.  
"You are taking things way too seriously lately." He said in a very disappointed tone. He backed away from me and said, "C'mere," motioning me to follow him towards the bed. I looked around like a deer in headlights. I was free to run from him, but I couldn't. He had that much clout over me. I remained still. He strode towards me and grabbed my arm, "C'mere!" and pulled me towards the bed. I felt like something bad was about to happen.  
We sat on the bed and he looked at me with those penetrating eyes. I wanted to look away but couldn't.  
"What's all this 'love' talk?" he asked irritably.  
"Well, I..."  
He cut me off, "You should know by now, cupcake, the type of....relationship that you and I share." He said in an uncomfortable tone. "We don't need all this talk of love and all that sappy jazz. That stuff is too serious. It drains the life out of you!" He said the last sentence with emphasis. "Besides," he cooed in my ear, "Where's my fun little cupcake?" he smiled broadly at me and put an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him. I returned his embrace and snuggled close to him. A smile broke out across my face and I was about to make some lame excuse for my behavior.  
But suddenly The Joker roughly pushed me down and forced himself on top of me, crushing me.  
"Do you love this?" he said through gritted teeth pushed me hard down onto the mattress. He bit into my shoulder and yanked and pushed me around violently. He flipped me onto my stomach and sat on my knees, pressing my hands behind my back. I struggled and was yelling at him, and this seemed to piss him off even more. He leaned down further and licked the back of my neck with his hot, slippery tongue. He held both of my wrists down with one hand as he slid his hand down my back and down to my ass. He grabbed my butt roughly and slid his hand down further between my thighs. He roughly grabbed at my crotch and hissed in my ear, "This is mine. You are mine." In spite of everything, a lightning bolt went through my stomach and my downstairs tingled slightly. He released his grip and grabbed my hair and leaned down to say to me, "You can't love this." He roughly released me. I sat up, stunned. He was sitting at the edge of the bed.  
"What. The. FUCK?" I said, anger bubbling in my stomach, about to boil over. The Joker ignored me. I saw his knife near the bed from when he had thrown it earlier. I slid out of bed and picked it up. I was really pissed off at Mr. J and wanted to stab his freaking eyeballs out. I clicked the blade open and crawled back into bed, coming from behind Mr. J. He was cradling his head in his hands. I put the knife to his throat, pressing it into his flesh slightly. He needs to stop treating me like a piece of shit. He raised his head up quickly and went to turn around, but I pressed the knife even deeper into his skin- threatening to cut him.  
"You can't do that to me." I said bitterly. "After all I've changed, after all I've tolerated from you...You are one disgusting fucker." I was seething.  
"Just do it then," He said amusedly.  
I made a growling sound in my throat. Oh how I hated his ego and his way of manipulating a situation to make me feel foolish!  
"You won't do it," he said, almost bored, "Because you love me." He said with an asshole smirk in his voice and on his face.  
"I don't love you! I don't even like you. I should just turn you in, and...and..." I had lost the fight in me. He had succeeded in making me feel like a jackass; like a child. My hand holding the knife loosened and Mr. J got up from the bed. The knife dropped from my hands to the floor and I looked up at him. There was a thin red line of blood where the knife had been. I felt satisfied in that, at least.  
"You don't treat me like a goddamn whore." I said firmly, most of my fight escaping with that sentence.  
He looked at me, "And you don't leave." He said expressionlessly.  
"I'm not gonna leave! What are you talking about? I get mad because you say you used me and then try to shoot me, and then you assault me! What is your problem?" I screamed, my voice hoarse.  
A smile broke across his scarred face. "My problem?" He walked towards me. He squeezed my biceps and said with a grin, "I love ya!"  
"You what? You sure have a funny way of showing it," I said, surprised.  
"I know you like to play rough, so in celebration of our 'love fest', I wanted to give you the thrill of a lifetime." He laughed. I just stood there, shocked. He came closer to me and mock-whispered in my ear, "And just so ya know, I can tell it worked. If ya know what I mean," He said, gesturing with his eyes down toward my crotch. Eh, he was right. He must've felt my arousal when he grabbed between my legs.  
A smile broke out across my face and let out a breath of relief with a laugh. We started laughing together hysterically until our sides hurt and we fell to the floor in tears.  
I leaned against the bed and looked at him, giggling sporadically. I got up to pick up the various weapons off of the floor.  
"Oh, you're not gettin' away that easily." J said, walking towards me.  
"I'm not gettin' anywhere. I'm picking up various pieces of our armory from the floor." I said, bending over to pick up a 9mm from under the dresser.  
J grabbed my ass and pulled it towards his crotch, moving back and forth making the gesture that he was humping me.  
I laughed and got up and put the gun on the dresser. "You should've said so!" I giggled and grabbed his shirt, pulling him towards me for a kiss.  
He giggled excitedly as we got on the bed.  
We weren't wearing much clothing to begin with, so soon we were in our birthday suits making out on the bed. Mr. J got up and started rummaging in a drawer. He grabbed something out and walked towards the bed. It was a pair of handcuffs.  
"Oh, no, no, no, Mr. J, not this girl..." I laughed.  
"Aw, c'mon, cupcake, you'll like it." He said dangling them from his finger.  
I swooned at him calling me cupcake and said, "Well, ok. Just this once."  
He grinned and handcuffed one hand then looped the chain around the headboard and cuffed the other hand so I was cuffed to the bed.  
"Oh geeze..." I said rolling my eyes playfully.  
He got on top of me and started kissing me from my navel up. He nibbled playfully and teased me with kisses around my lips. I ached to hold him and pull him towards me, forcing him to kiss my lips. My heart was racing and I was breathing heavily, my hands in fists and resisting the bonds. My legs were still free, so I pulled him closer to me with my legs, rubbing my damp readiness on him, begging to be relieved. I wanted his hands all over me.  
"Mr. J, you're killin' me..." I sighed.  
"See? I knew you'd like it!" he said and bit my neck.  
I cried out in approval and leaned forward to kiss him. He backed up playfully, and I could move no further because of my bound wrists.  
"Mr. J..." I moaned. My hands were tingling because of my desire.  
"All right, baby, all right. No need to beg," he said with a smirk.  
He entered me suddenly and I cried out in pleasure.  
"Oh J..."  
"Yes, yes, Comedia..." J groaned and continued to make love to me. He got up suddenly and released the handcuffs, letting them drop to the floor. I held him tightly and kissed him passionately and deeply. My eyes watering with my love for him.


End file.
